This is a special edition "What I Don't Like" post. These will be few and far between, but in this particular case I am very upset.
I want to talk about the dating situation for us freshman ladies here at Y-daho.
The guys our age are what we call "pre-mis." They are preparing to serve their two-year missions. Since no one wants to write a "Dear John" letter, we try not to get to attached. Some do the same, and some others really really really really really want to find a special someone to write them. So we date them, and things get weird because they either don't want to get attached or they move far too quickly. No es bueno.
Then there are the RMs. They're all looking to get married. We're not. So we date them, and things get weird because they either the age difference freaks them out or they move far too quickly.
No es bueno.
Maybe I'm wrong. But this is what I have observed on my one date and my friends' many dates. That's why we should all learn from President Uchtdorf's CES fireside address from last night. Laura and I immediately called our 16-year-old brothers after seeing it to tell them to start dating so they know what they're doing when they get up here.
AND it's really hard (at least for me) to make guy friends. My best friends at home are guys. They're (usually) far less dramatic and are far less judgmental than my girlfriends. This one is probably just me, though.
Thank you for reading this far. I truly appreciate it. I would also appreciate your take on this whole debacle. Am I accurate? Am I doing something wrong? What can I do?
You are pretty accurate! That's how it was when I was there, but the trick for me was to just be myself!!!! Enjoy the guys you hang out with, but keep a hold on your heart till you find someone worth letting it go to! LOVE YOU!
ReplyDeleteThe trick to not letting dating get to you (which, inevitably, it will) is to date for fun. And until "what's his name" really and truly sweeps you off your feet, don't let it get to you. Dating in college is weird. W. E. I. R. D. And there's always (always, ALWAYS) way too much drama.
ReplyDeleteYou'll find guy friends in class and in your ward. But it feels weird because you all know (secretly) you're assessing their eligibility as a marriage partner. It's weird. (period)
So for now - ESPECIALLY as a freshman - date, have fun. Plan silly crazy fun things (like visiting the natural history museum on campus and learning the moose call - that's still an epic dating adventure in my history - or go country dancing. Seriously Brooke, you will get a kick out of this. Find my sister if you need a little gumption.)
Just try to remember to play (not prey) and that you've plenty of time to sort out the life partner issue. For now, find yourself and you'll find that others will soak up that happy-go-lucky confidence you've got in spades.
Meanwhile, dismss the weird. It's totally natural. Cheers.
I agree with everyone else.
ReplyDeleteIT IS WEIRD!
Freshman year is the worse.
When I was a freshman, a 28 year old wanted to marry me! I was totally creeped out. I thought he was ANCIENT. And he was. And what kind of guy wants a wife TEN YEARS younger than him.
Tangent.
It is weird. It gets better as you get older.
I think just knowing it's weird and that it's normal that it's weird makes it better?
You are such a superstar!
HAHA! ok. I enjoyed this last comment. I have a boyfriend 10 years older than me and he's the ancient age of 28!! But I am definitely going on my mission- and if we get married it will be because he waited for me for 4-5 years. Any how- beyond the point.
ReplyDeleteI have heard this phrase thousands of times over this semester for some reason- and i think it applies here perfectly- "Its only as awkward as you make it."
If the person wants to marry you- be flattered, but make it clear you don't feel the same way. If a person doesn't want to get too serious, than just have fun. Thats the point any how.
As long as you listen to the Holy Ghost, all will go as it should. =)
PS- Uchtdorf's talk was awesome! Glad you posted the link.
---Your Number One Fan---- :P